Well this is it folks, sort of. I have a couple journal entries composed in my head but due to illness never got them typed out. One is about a family scandal. I should have titled my last entry "how to lose 5 pounds in as many days" although it's not a weight loss program I would ever recommend. We leave for home tonight! We are going to rest in a hotel in CA before heading across the desert. In about, oh, 56 hours we should be walking through our front door. Not that I'm counting or anything.

Please do check back for those final entries, a few more photos and video clips including a Hindu puja. Thanks so much for coming along for the ride!

June 26, 2007

It seems like ages since I’ve made a journal entry. We have been struck by some bad luck. First, we got a faulty batch of extension tubes for Nitara’s tube. Within a few days they start to leak and then totally come off. That is why we “fed the bed” in Kodai. The next one started to leak and flooded her feeding pump inside its bag. Now the pump is fried, and Nitara really, really needs that pump to get her full feedings day and night. So now we are hand-feeding her but she’s not getting all her calories. Luckily she has enough extra padding on her to not have her health threatened. And she is very good about staying hydrated when she’s well.

Yesterday she agreed to getting her ears pierced! Yeah! The man at the jewelry shop put some very strong painkiller on her ear lobes and she only flinched with the gun. She later said it didn’t hurt at all, and they don’t seem to be bothering her now. She is very proud of them. I’m so glad we let her choose to get it done, and I’m even more glad that we did it in a humane way. In the states they don’t put any painkiller on at all from what I remember. The jewelry shop is something that is out of this world. I never cease to be amazed when I enter that place. The jeweled necklaces are like what you would find on the Queen of England for an official function. I cannot even begin to describe them all. There was one set that had over one hundred medium sized white diamonds surrounding several yellowish diamonds. It had a matching pair of earrings, too. Now imagine that set times about 200 and you get an idea. Next door to the gold shop was the silver shop. There were many large pieces of pure silver for display. There was a silver basin big enough for Nitara to take a bath in. There were also some silver puja lamps that were taller than Abi.

Today I woke up with fever and chills, bad body aches, dizziness, and a horrible headache. With the monsoon season starting right on schedule we have mosquitoes. I hope it’s not Malaria or worse, a new mosquitoe-borne illness called African Chicken something-or-other. Time will tell, and at least we have access to meds. Nitara has it too, whatever it is, and is just lying in the fetal position on the sofa. By tonight if this gets worse we will seek out a doctor just to make sure we catch it in the early stages.

June 28, 2007

Nitara spiked a fever of almost 106, and I was not far behind at 103. At that point a lab tech was called to the house to take a blood sample from me. The most concerning thing about Nitara was that she had not kept down any fluids for more than 12 hours and was getting dehydrated. After a tepid shower her fever came down but still not able to hold down any fluids at all. I decided to take her to ER just like at home. It was irresponsible of V and I to not have a game plan if she got sick before this happened. As is the usual method in this home it took 45 minutes to decide what to do, including phone calls to friends of friends for their input. There are some hospitals that are good but they are charity hospitals and reportedly not very clean. We settled on going to see a top pediatric GI/general ped who got us right in. The office was very nice and clean and he was friendly and even knew what EE was. I was feeling like I had one foot in the grave myself but I needed to provide her history. She was given a shot of an anti-nausea med and we were told that if she was not able to hold down fluids by midnight, to take her to a certain hospital that is cleaner and nicer. The fee for his services was only 700 rupees (less than $20). At home her usual GI visit is somewhere between $200-400. She was prescribed an antibiotic because he felt she had a virus with secondary bacterial infection of the gut. Also an anti-nausea med and one for fever. The total bill for all three meds was 250 rupees, about $5. Then my malaria test came back negative, thank goodness. A print-out of the results was delivered to the door and the total cost for the whole service was around $5.

It was interesting to see how the medical system here works, and it’s also interesting to see how little they charge for services and meds. Kamini’s endoscopy was only around $150 while mine was close to $5000 (covered by insurance). Most people here do not have medical insurance. It’s costly and not worth it for most situations. If you are poor you go to a charity hospital (if they have room for you, otherwise too bad) and if you are wealthy you can afford to pay cash.

There are things I can buy over the counter here that are prescription only in the US. For example Kamini bought Domperidone for everyone for the Kodai trip up and down the mountain. The baby’s oral suspension med was just 10 rupees (25 cents). You can also buy birth control pills very cheap here over the counter. I have what I think is a very, very bad sinus infection now that my fever is gone. I have awful shooting pains on one whole side of my face, especially behind one eye to the point that it’s watering and I’m bedridden. Kamini bought me some antibiotics, a full five-day course, for about 50 cents. I normally would not jump to take antibiotics but with us flying home soon, I don’t want to take any chances. What is interesting is that when I tried to get some liquid baby Motrin for Nitara yesterday I was told it was prescription only for kids.

Abi visited the orphanage yesterday and came home telling me all about it. I am so sorry I missed it. She said the girls slept upstairs and the boys slept downstairs, and they used regular beds and not bunk beds. Four women took care of all the children. She said they ate a good dinner. Also she said they all spoke English.

Last night there was a very big storm. I was kinda out of it, but I think I heard on BBC that there was a typhoon that hit south India and a lot of people drowned. The monsoon season means that it rains quite a bit and it’s been difficult to wash clothes. I have found myself running to the roof terrace to pull down half-dried clothes and transfer them to drying racks indoors instead. When you are washing clothes for eight people in the household, including a baby in cloth diapers, the drying racks are always full and we are always a little behind on the laundry.

Update: starting to feel much better with the sinus pain! Yeah! Hope I can make a full recovery by the time we fly. Nitara is still feeling “vomity” and not tolerating much more than Pedialyte and pureed potatoes. Still running a fever, too. Poor kid. We are leaving in 2 days. I'm kinda relieved actually. Things stopped being fun when her pump broke. Never knew how much we depended on it until it was not there anymore.

There are some photos of the orphanage at http://s199.photobucket.com/albums/aa115/abiramineha/India%202/
in the India 2 album. These were taken by my sister in law. It's hard for me to imagine not having any family at all. Poor kids.

Been sick. This is the first time in a couple of days that I have felt well enough to get out of bed to post and check my emails. If I still feel okay tonight I will try to post about what's going on and upload some photos . . . .

I have really, really enjoyed everyone's comments! Sorry I have not replied to many of them. I am using my sister in law's computer, which is in her room. I compose on my laptop and then have to go to her room to upload. This can only happen after 9 PM if I have photos, and sometimes she or the baby are sleeping and I can't do it. So my time to reply is very limited.

June 23, 2007
On the way to Mahaballipuram we stopped by a crocodile conservatory, which breeds endangered crocs from around the world and then sends many back to their native countries for release or educational purposes. We got to hold a snake and a baby croc, which was a lot of fun.

We arrived in Mahaballipuram and inspected our first hotel which turned out to be very nice and still reasonable cost. It was only about ½ mile from the ocean. After checking in we walked out to the beach and enjoyed about 5 minutes of peace before we attracted every vendor on the place from horse-rides to coconut sellers to fortune tellers. The last, a woman who kept insisting she read my palm, would not be driven off with kind words or even impatient ones. Finally we just ignored her and hoped she went away. She did. After my father in law headed home, we walked down the beach again and watched the sun set. There was an ominous sign warning of a tidal pull and listing the number of drownings per year at this beach. So far this year it’s been 11 people. There were other signs saying not to swim. In spite of the warnings everywhere, a large group of German tourists were out swimming in the water.

We had dinner and went back to our room and I got the girls and I ready for a shower. There was no hot water. I called and they sent three men to fix it. An hour and a half later, after much tinkering and banging on the pipes, flushing the toilet, etc, they left. Instead of cold water coming out of the hot tap, we now had no water coming out of it. I called them back and two more men came back and worked for another twenty minutes and left. We now had hot water, but if I turned on the shower it was very temperamental and would without warning switch from ice cold to scalding hot water and back again. We all survived.

This morning we had room service breakfast, waited for my father in law to come back (he didn’t want to stay the night and preferred to drive), and he took us around to see the sights. Since my last visit 9 years ago the place was totally developed. Nine years ago we could just drive up to the monuments and go see them. Now they had this expansive lawn and an entry fee in front of the shore temple, and a well manicured walkway between the other monuments further down. Somehow it took away from the experience of just walking up and seeing it as it existed in nature. Now they all look like tourist attractions and it really took away from the character of them. On the other hand, the guards and fences probably served to protect them better from vandals. My father in law tried to buy the 10 rupee tickets for Indian citizens but they really, really doubted I was from India and he was sent back to buy the 250 rupee ticket for me.

The Shore Temple was built in the 6th century AD by a certain King but the site goes back even more. They have found ancient Roman coins and even older shards of pottery. The shore temple has many details which have been lost over time by the sea and wind. It was initially mostly buried in the sea but was recovered and is now protected behind a stone and tree barrier as best it can be. Still, it seems only a shadow of what it once was. Vandals had dessicrated parts of it including a beautiful black lingam in the main sanctum. I had been able to enter and photograph these on my first trip but now they are gated and locked. I found some ancient red brick parts of buildings that had been excavated since last time, still covered with shells and barnacles. I was told that this is one of seven temples, the others are still buried in the sea and only visible by scuba divers and satellite technology. It reminds me a little of the story of Atlantis.

The other sites area also made of carved granite. Some were functional temples while others were just practice for the carvers. One was an ancient lighthouse, which still stood in the shadows of a more modern version built by the British and still in use today. Some of the temples were used for a long time but are not used anymore, their deities either moved or destroyed by invading people. Most of the wall carvings survived, but one temple showed shadows where the carved figures used to be. As we came out onto road we passed “Arjuna’s Penance”, the life-sized elephants dwarfed by the hundreds of figures. A tour guide near me was explaining that these carvings were so important in temples and outside of temples to help pass down traditional stories to the next generations. Even though the whole place was very touristy, I still couldn’t help but to imagine what it would have been like to grow up in that community of stone carvers near the sea, to worship at the Shore Temple or these smaller cave temples, to see the ancient lighthouse working.

On the way home we drove near the shoreline for awhile and I was looking at the houses and other buildings near the sea, and thinking about the tsunami that touched those shores. There were a few abandoned houses but most were bustling with life. I saw only one sign of lost life: a large grid of concrete foundations where there used to be the thatched huts of fishermen and their families. Surely they were all washed out to sea that horrible day. At the hotel they had a piece of driftwood set up as a bench, wood that the flood had brought in to the hotel campus. I asked there if the wave hit the hotel and they said it came all the way to the parking lot but did not touch the buildings. The Shore Temple, which was right next to our hotel and very close to the water’s edge, was covered by the wave. But that same wave that took so many lives also uncovered even more of the temple complex that had been hidden for so many centuries.

Many more photos and two video clips here : (Album Mahaballipuram ) http://s199.photobucket.com/albums/aa115/abiramineha/Mahaballipuram/

Losing my gracefulness rapidly

June 23, 2007

We are at the three-week mark and just as I predicted, this is the point where people start rubbing each other the wrong way. This happens every time I get together with this family, whether it’s at our place or theirs. The big blowup was right before we left yesterday to Mahaballipuram. Abi has been spoiled by her grandmother this whole time and I have allowed it up to a point. But as is natural with kids, give them an inch and they’ll take it a mile. Abi loves dosas. Dosas are nutritious because they are made of lentils and rice. They are supposed to be eaten with sambar and other vegetable dishes to make a balanced meal. Abi just eats them plain most of the time or will soak up the gravy and leave the veggies. In addition she’s on a fruit boycott with the exception of about ½ an apple a day maybe. If Abi is given something to eat for a meal, she whines a little bit and her grandma will immediately take that food away and give her a dosa or two instead. This has been going on for three weeks. So yesterday morning she got her dosa. She said she didn’t want it after all. V said she needed to eat it all because we were going on the road and would have a late lunch. Besides, if she cried for a dosa and one was made fresh especially for her (the rest of us were eating other things), she'd beter eat the dosa. She threw a fit and grandma tore it in half and said she just had to eat half. V told her she had to eat it all and then my father in law came into the kitchen and ate half of it, thinking it was going to waste. V stormed upstairs to vent to me about it. I went downstairs and asked my mother in law to make another dosa and this time Abi was going to eat it all. I told her that Abi has not been eating well this trip was getting a little spoiled and since she asked for a dosa for breakfast she needed to eat it. Period. I said I was going up to finish getting ready and would be down soon. I went down a few minutes later and there was no dosa. My mother in law said Abi was gagging on it and she was not going to force her to eat it, so she took away the last few bites. (Abi later admitted she was faking the gagging so she could get out of eating the dosa, since gagging always gets Nitara out of eating her food.) I told her that V and I wanted her to finish it all, and if she was concerned about something she needed to come upstairs and ask us about it. She totally flipped and started crying and yelling at me about how she has no rights as her grandmother, that I was the parent and she should have listed to me and gone upstairs, but that I had no right to talk to her that way. I was thinking, what I am I doing wrong other than trying to enforce my parental decision? It turns out that it was extremely disrespectful to ask her to come upstairs to talk to me because she’s an older person and I should only always be going to her. How was I supposed to know that? Anyway, I told her I was sorry to talk to her like that and show disrespect and was just concerned about Abi’s health. She then started crying and yelling again. Here we are back from our trip and she’s still giving me the cold shoulder. Next time we come, it will be for only three weeks. And the same goes for any trips they make to our place if I have any say in the matter (which I never do).

In Indian culture the daughter in law never ever talks back to her mother in law. Ever. V's family is more liberal but I think I crossed a line even so. Part of me thinks I should have just let Abi eat dosas for the rest of the visit and just fix things when we get home. The other part of me thinks that I need to step in as her parent because things have gone way too far. By the way, today at breakfast, away from her grandmother, Abi ate a bowl of cereal, a slice of toast, and some juice with only a little bit of a fuss because had ordered room service. For lunch she ate a veggie triple decker sandwhich. For dinner when we got home she ate the other half of the sandwhich but she did fuss for a dosa. My mother in law went upstairs without comment. She's still pretty upset. Gulp.

The ones that got away

I have enjoyed taking photos and experimenting with my little Minolta point and click camera. Sometimes I think there can't be anything that interesting on a route I've taken before and I leave the camera behind. And I always regret it. Like the photo of Nitara's delighted face reflected in the little round mirror of the autorickshaw. The red and black swastika (the ancient sign of good luck) painted on the back of a bright yellow lorry. The slogans "We two, ours one" and "Delay marriage until 21" painted on the back of another truck. The billboard pleading for responsible use of fuels to prevent global warming, which I could hardly read because of the haze of exhaust from cars who would never dream of passing emissions in the US. The little children perched on the dashboards of passenger busses, their faces pressed excitedly against the windshields. The five year old girl standing between her father's knees on a red scooter in rush hour traffic, one hand holding the middle of the handlebars, her other hand holding a cellphone to her ear.

Today V and I and the girls took an autorickshaw to Spencers Plaza, a big shopping mall, to get some gifts for baby Anirudh's birthday and just hang out. And along the way so many photos escaped me. Such regret. We found some really great gifts for Anirudh. Initially I wanted a Fisher Price push toy that later turns into a ride on toy. I don't know what the price in the US is, but surely not $80 like it would have been at this store. American imported products are usually about double the usual price. So we dropped that idea, browsed around Landmark's huge toy department. I found two wonderful, large platters with almost life-sized carved wooden fruits and veggies, hand painted. They were all local fruits and veggies. I would have loved to buy another set for my girls but had to admit it would have been for me instead, just the desire to possess such a wonderful set of toys. Also a small ball toy was purchased for him. For the girls I found three books in both English and Tamil, nice stories too, and a music CD of traditional Tamil kids songs set to Bollywood style music. We ate a snack dinner at MarryBrown's a fast food joint similar to McD's but it offers veg and non-veg burgers as part of its regular business. No veggie burger hidden in a dusty corner of the menu board like at home. Finally we stopped by a store that sells food and I found some 100% apple juice packs for Nitara, some mouthwash for myself (always a necessity with Indian food!), and a few odds and ends. This mall has a lot of tourists. Strangely enough, of all the white women I saw I was the only one in western clothes (t-shirt and capris, my main uniform this trip). The others were all wearing salwar kameeze outfits. There were plenty of Indian women wearing western clothes, though. Outside we tried to find an auto home but they kept quoting us twice the usual fare. V had the bright idea of making me and the girls hide behind a corner, he found a driver for the usual fare and then we emerged and climbed in. On the way to the rickshaw I gave money to two beggars, a child Abi's age and a handicapped man sitting next to a hand-pedalled bike.

Tomorrow we leave for Mahabalipuram, also called Mamallapuram, which has some amazing stone artwork and includes a temple that had been buried by the sea, now being dug out through international funding. It's one of the world heritage sites. On the way we will stop by a crocodile park. If the hotel is good we may stay overnight, but after our experience so far I am not holding my breath.

By the way, we did get to do our shopping yesterday! We arrived close to closing but they were nice and stayed open until we were finished. V bought me a really beautiful hand-sewn applique quilt which shows a world tree with animals. It's incredible. Will post a photo after it's on our bed.

June 20, 2007

Another day in the life of this family. Less than 10 days left and I wanted to go to a certain handicrafts shop to buy some stuff to take back home. The plan this morning was to take the baby to the doctor (he has a really bad diaper rash caused by disposable diapers during our trip that has turned into a bacterial infection). After we came home to drop off the baby, we were supposed to go to this shop. We got home and everyone decides to eat lunch first. Fine, we can go after lunch, no problem. Then they all got to talking. What if we run into a certain person we have not yet called on, who lives near that shop? What if they get offended? Maybe we should call on them and then go to the shop. Whatever. But if we call on them it will turn into a big ordeal lasting longer than we want. There were some more what if’s that I didn’t catch in Tamil. Everyone had something to say about it and it got heated. Finally my father in law, who was supposed to take us to the shop, gets ready to leave to go back to his house which is near the shop. He said that the new plan is to wait until next week to visit this shop. I just about hit the roof. All because we might run into some people. I told them I was going to the shop if I had to take an autorickshaw myself. My father in law left anyway. The new plan is that he will drive back to get us when we are ready to leave for the shop and then he’s not going to hang around because those people might spot his car, and we will call him when we are finished shopping and he will drive us home.

I don’t have my sling yet, either.

On the bright side, it’s mango season, and the colossal ancient mango tree in the front of the in law’s house is in full production. They are so juicy and delicious, sweeter than candy. The ripest ones, we just slice them into three parts (the seed part in the middle) and use spoons to eat it right out of the skin like pudding. The ones that are about a day away from perfect ripeness are also really good sliced into squares, then turned inside out and devoured just like that.

Our Kodai trip

June 15, 2007

I am sitting here in my comfortable hotel room in Kodai. It has been quite an eventful few days getting to this place, though. We drove the airport very early in the morning and boarded a small plane to Maduri. Then we went on a three hour car drive up a beautiful mountain road. Along the way a few people in our party had to take anti nausea meds. Nitara, surprisingly, was fine. We kept passing cars that had stopped at the side of the road to either vomit or clean up vomit. Yes it was that bad of a road. We arrived at a resort where we were supposed to stay. Everything looked wonderful on the outside. They had one of the most beautiful gardens of flowering plants I have ever seen. The gardening staff was amazing. If that place had spent half the effort on the inside of the cottages it might have been a great stay. We inspected six rooms, starting with one that had raw sewage coming into it. The last set of rooms was pretty bad, but at that point we were exhausted and ready to collapse. The bed was dirty, the couch was even dirtier, and the bathroom had splatters of human filth all over it. I refused to use it. The kitchenette had splatters of food, the fridge looked like someone had thawed out meat in it, and the complimentary cooking utensils had dried food on them. We settled down, me and the girls in the big bed and V on the couch. No one slept very well. The next morning we found a room at a much, much better hotel down the street. My in laws decided to just stay at the same hotel and upgrade to a two-room suite. The hotel gave better attention for the higher paying people. It was not acceptable by most standards but at least it was reasonably clean and they felt it was acceptable for the baby.

That afternoon we rented some bikes, one for me and Abi, and one small one for Nitara. The one I rented for Abi and I was the worst bike I have ever ridden. If I went over a bump the seat went forward, and over the next bump the seat tilted backwards. It was so rusty it was hard to pedal. Abi and I had a good time on it though. Like everyone else was doing she straddled the luggage rack and we rode around the lake. Nitara’s kiddie bike was hard for her to pedal so we took turns pushing her. She was okay with that, though. Later Nitara and I shared a horse ride with Abi on her own horse in the rear. The horses were very healthy and happy looking and we took a short ride around the lake. The person leading us asked where I was staying and if I was interested in a longer ride through the forest the next morning. I said I would talk to my family and see what the plan was and get back to him.

We got back to the in law’s place and I think the lack of sleep and travel fatique got to us and we had a big exchange of temper tantrums from the baby on up to the oldest person. We went back to our hotel and had a good night’s sleep. As we were drifting off I was treated to a sound that is typical of India’s diversity. We are staying by a very old German Christian church and the sounds of hymns mixed with the more distant sounds of a procession going around the lake in honor of a certain Hindu goddess including drumming and chanting.

As is typical in his family, we all pretended it had never happened by this morning. I was awakend by the phone. The front desk said there were two men with horses waiting to take me on a horse ride! I never told them I wanted it for sure and was thinking there was some miscommunication. As it turns out they do this a lot to get business. We had a good buffet breakfast and then walked around the lake. Anirudh has yet to accept his stroller that I bought for Kamini way before he was born, but it was handy for Nitara. The sling that I bought at the same time as the stroller was useful, and he was passed around as we made the long walk. We found a stand where the girls got shells etched with their names in them for keepsakes. Then we road a paddle boat. Abi really, really wanted to ride in a swan paddle boat. After that we went back to the hotel for lunch. This was third time we had eaten at this particular place. For about two dollars per person we filled up on naan bread, some yummy curries, and dessert. I ate so much all three days that I did not have any need for dinner at all. We finished with dessert. Abi got a whole banana split and I got a fruit triffle. I was amused by a typo in the dessert menu for “leeches with ice cream.”

Okay so now that I’ve given a rundown of events since the last blog, I have to say I feel like never ever going on a trip with his family again. It is so, so hard for me to live with the contant change of plans. Literally they change drastically ever ten minutes. One time yesterday we were all set to leave for an outing. I was down at the bottom of the hill at the place where the inlaws were staying. I was sitting at the playground waiting for everyone else to come down. We were supposed to go horseback riding or bike riding at a certain place across the lake. I waited and waited and no one came down. I pulled my knitting out of my bag and finished about 1/3 of a washcloth waiting. Finally they all came down. They had decided to take a walk instead. Other times we have a hard time finding the driver to take us places. My inlaws don’t drive much anymore due to eye problems and have a driver. He has the keys to the car. Sometimes we have been all ready to go somewhere, and then not been able to find the driver and go back upstairs again and wait. The driver was not told to meet us at that time so I at least don’t blame him. He was probably off getting some tea or reading the paper.

Abi has found SpongeBob on TV and after it’s over we are going to put them to bed and then V and I hope to catch a movie on HBO. We were hoping that we could have some private time together but the bed situation is such that one of the kids has to sleep with us. But since one gets jealous if the other sleeps with us, V ends up sleeping in the livingroom area on the twin bed and the girls sleep on either side of me. The situation at Kamini’s house is pretty much the same, with us in one bed and the kids each in small beds in the same room. Oh well. At least the scenery at this place is beautiful and the weather is cool.

June 15, 2007

Today started out badly but got better. Nitara’s tube “fed the bed” for a good part of the night. Not a good thing since it was the hotel’s bed and not ours. We showed the housekeeper her tummy tube and explained what happened. They were very nice about getting a new mattress and cleaning the room extra well. We have been tipping them a lot. It’s only 10 rupees (25 cents) each day but for them, they probably don’t get paid a whole lot and they work hard. This morning we had a nice breakfast at the hotel of puris, potato masala, eggs, milk and coffee, all you can eat. The total bill was 260 rupees. With the tip added, it was still under $10 for three of us.

Since Vignesh is having the same feelings as I am about traveling with family, we decided to take the day into our own hands. We went to a natural history museum. Although they had some interesting artifacts and pottery from ancient people in the area, they also included some funeral urns with bone fragments right on display. There was motley collection of stuffed animals who had seen better days. Some had ruffles on them and I imagine that about 100 years ago it was sitting in front of some British settler’s fireplace. There were some full animal skeletons, butterflies, eggs of native birds, and jars and jars full of preserved animals—a two headed shark and some fetal animals. Also on full display were jars with preserved human embryos. They ranged from very tiny with placentas attached, one with severe deformities, and a a full term nine day old baby who was very beautiful and perfect to my eyes. I could almost lift it out of the jar and expect it to open its eyes and cry. There was no warning about the human embryos on display at all. Luckily our kids were more interested in the skeletons. The whole “museum” was one room. Towards the end of our visit the place was flooded with about 50 police trainees. I have no idea why they where there, but each was rapidly taking notes in the jarred specimens area.

After that we went to Cokker’s Walk, a sidewalk built high on a mountain with breathtaking views. It was similar to the Grand Canyon though not quite as deep, and below we could see both the natural forest and cultivated plantations. We were literally in the clouds. We headed back to our hotel and will soon go off to lunch and meet with the family in the afternoon.

Photos from Kodia trip

June 17, 2007

I have noticed that in India I don’t find the mega packs of stuff like in the US. I have only seen 2 liter soda bottles a handful of times. Mostly I have found one liters or cans. There are Pampers and Huggies for those who can afford it but only in packs of about 10 diapers. Sanitary napkins come in packs of 12. Chips come in bags about half as big as the family sized packs in the US. I asked Vignesh why this is, since many people have the money to spend on these products. Diapers are not a necessity here but sanitary napkins are for most people. So why not sell them in packs of 30 and more like in the US? V said there were two reasons. One is that many people don’t have the money to buy large quantities all at once. If the company wants to reach all markets, they need to sell the products in portions that more people can afford. Secondly is that most people don’t have cars. They can only buy as much as they can carry in a couple of bags by foot, bus, or bike. They just go shopping more often. Speaking of shopping, those nasty little plastic shopping bags are becoming very unpopular. The cows eat them when foraging for garbage, they litter the roadsides and hang in the trees. More and more companies are starting to use paper sacks. Today I bought some essential oils (about 90 rupees or $1.50 for an ounce or more), and they were wrapped in newspaper that had been folded skillfully into paper bag shapes. I wish the US would find a market for something like that.

There is a great disparity between rich and poor here. In the US even the fast food worker or waiter is still someone I see as my equal. If I had money to hire someone to clean my house, I wouldn’t treat them as less than a person. I would see them as someone who is probably working their way to a better situation in life, because in the US if you study or work hard enough you have a good chance of moving up in life. In India it’s so crowded that it’s hard to move past your station in life a lot of times, even with hard work.

Since my last visit five years ago I have noticed that many more people, especially people my age or younger, are looking westernized. Jeans and t-shirts are replacing salwar-kameeze sets and saris. The single long braids are being replaced by short salon-style cuts. I see a lot of cell phones. I just finished watching a TV program about Indian outsourcing in the hotel and it seems that the older generation is fearing the loss of culture from these young, educated Indians. 55% of the population is under age 20 and many of them are able to work in call centers and other U.S. based employment. They spend their money and get independence from the traditional family. They no longer feel they need to listen to their parents. They don’t need their parents’ money and can make their own decisions. I can see that the economy desperately needs to improve. Many see the acquisition of wealth more desirable than tradition. At their age, who wouldn’t? Skin lightening creams are advertised on TV by companies such as Garnier. Is it to look more western, or is because light skin has always been more valued in many cultures around the world. Maybe both. Poverty is so widespread and they need urgent funding for clean water supply and medical care to more people. Indian government is not keeping up. There is no social security system or real welfare system, poorly enforced child labor laws, no minimum wage. The court system is very very slow and so is the passing of laws. If the laws pass they are very hard to enforce. How will the new money coming into the country benefit the poor and society as a whole without the system in place to distribute the wealth? I just read in the local paper, The Hindu, that a year or so ago there was funding to build some solar powered police booths, and also provide some first aid kits to help accident victims more quickly. One year later the booths have been abandoned because of lack of maintenance, and the first aid kids have all disappeared. I hope that India is able to keep up a living traditional culture while embracing new economy. I want my kids to come back and find a culture, not just another consumer society. At the same time, I hope that when they come back as adults, or bring their own children, there will be a lot less poverty. A candy bar is about 20 rupees. A pack of 6 feminine napkins is 18 rupees. Our hotel room cost 1700 rupees per night. I have to keep in mind that 10 rupees is the day’s pay for a brickworker. Very humbling. I could (and maybe I will before I leave) hand out a day’s pay to 80 people for about $20.

For some reason this song was in my head when I woke up this morning.

Well, I'd like to visit the moon
On a rocket ship high in the air
Yes, I'd like to visit the moon
But I don't think I'd like to live there
Though I'd like to look down at the earth from above
I would miss all the places and people I love
So although I might like it for one afternoon
I don't want to live on the moon

I'd like to travel under the sea
I could meet all the fish everywhere
Yes, I'd travel under the sea
But I don't think I'd like to live there
I might stay for a day there if I had my wish
But there's not much to do when your friends are all fish
And an oyster and clam aren't real family
So I don't want to live in the sea

I'd like to visit the jungle, hear the lions roar
Go back in time and meet a dinosaur
There's so many strange places I'd like to be
But none of them permanently

So if I should visit the moon
Well, I'll dance on a moonbeam and then
I will make a wish on a star
And I'll wish I was home once again
Though I'd like to look down at the earth from above
I would miss all the places and people I love
So although I may go I'll be coming home soon
'Cause I don't want to live on the moon
No, I don't want to live on the moon

Nor would I like to live in India. At one point in my life I considered it for a few years, but now I think I will be glad to return home to what is familiar and comfortable to me. I will miss my in laws, especially my sister in law and her baby. The kindness that (some of them) show is heartwarming. I know my girls are benefiting greatly from being with more than just mom and dad. But I would not want to live here.

The humidity and heat are getting to me. It wouldn't be so bad if we had central a/c, but here the electricity is a lot of money and besides it fails so often that you'd have to have a gas generator as backup. So for me, I leave our bedroom and the heat hits me as I walk down the stairs to the kitchen and I sweat and sweat through the meal, then back up stairs to the a/c my face a greasy mess and the rest of me not so fresh either. I am used to heat, but a dry heat. I am fine with Phoenix weather because you don't sweat. Here I can blow dry my hair after a shower and it's damp again within minutes.

The air is so dusty and polluted. Thanks to three types of asthma/allergy meds I am doing okay, but I know that long term it's not healthy to live here. Driving from one place to another exposes me to bluish smoke that hangs in the air at street level. You can taste it, it gets on your skin, body, and it's awful. They have these huge billboards erected everywhere. On some streets you can't even see the buildings at all because they are behind billboards that completely shade them. They cut off any air circulation that might be there to carry the blue smog away and make it easier for people to breathe. The streets are so crowded and people don't move aside very quickly for an ambulance. Amma told me you might as well just say your prayers and turn over to die rather than wait for an ambulance to take you to the hospital. Of course we have medical issues in our family and those things could not be addressed here as easily. Even for people like my in laws, who live in beautiful houses and can afford household help during the day to clean and wash dishes-- you still have to put up with so much. Things are not available here and if you can get one, it may not work well. My sister in law has a tiny washing machine because a bigger one would pop the fuse on the house. She hangs the laundry to dry on the terrace. Last night V and I found ourselves running upstairs at 4 in the morning to rescue our laundry from a short downpour. When it's monsoon season Kamini dries the clothes indoors and it takes a day or two for each load.

But as far as visiting goes, I could do this trip every couple of years easily. I'm having a good time for the most part and I feel very lucky that I have been able to come here four times so far in my lifetime.

Just a reminder-- the photos password is simply "photos"

Nitara's special day

This morning we woke up very early, showered, and got dressed. The girls wore beautiful traditional silk and gold dresses. Each was presented with a family heirloom necklace. Nitara’s was a round charm worn by her great-grandfather. Abi’s was a necklace worn by her grandmother when she was just a small child. The priest set up the space for the homa in the small courtyard, and then we were called to take part in it at times. Another priest, who serves at Tirupati, came to do a puja in the shrine room and bless our family. Each of us was given a gold-stained thread to tie around our wrist with blessings tied into the knot and they will be worn until they fall off on their own. Afterwards we had a catered lunch served on banana leaves. It was a very special day. I took lots of photos. These are the best ones. This is the same priest that performed our wedding ceremony and Abi’s first homa.

I would write more but it’s very hot and I feel like melting. There is a hot water heater available for the shower but it has been unused for several days. Cold showers feel much better. We have to pack for Kodai. My mother in law and father in law are leaving by car tomorrow with most of the luggage. We are flying part of the way on Tuesday morning. It will be easier for the kids. We still will have to drive three hours on winding mountain roads. I am going to bring the Zofran just in case.

(Catching up . . . )

Today we went to the fabric store. It was five stories high! Kamini was not satisfied with our skirts, and still had to buy shirts for the men for the big birthday bash. We were able to find about 8 Hawaiian style prints. We bought some for everyone and we plan to return the skirts. Also bought some very nice uniform material for Abi for school next year. Each pinafore and shirt set will be around $12 including the cost to stitch them. I also bought some nice fabric to make the girls sleeveless dresses for summer. The material and stitching costs for both dresses comes to a little over $10.

After that we went to a store that sells a lot of imported food products. I saw some other Caucasian people there but only one was probably American. One spoke fluent Tamil. They had some locally produced name brands for reasonable prices. The imported stuff, though, was just outrageous! For example, a box of Cheerios was $11. A container of Gerber Puffs baby snack was $8. A bottle of Pediasure was $6. I was able to buy two boxes of Kellog’s Corn Flakes (mango flavor and honey flavor, locally produced), two packs of instant noodles, four packs of instant coffee drink, a pack of gum, two cookies, and a quart of Silk brand soy milk for around $9. Not bad. The store also had stuff like Pop Tarts, Trix cereals, Coke (with an Arabic label, 75 cents per can), Old El Paso, Hunt’s barbeque sauce, Nestle Quick, and even several varieties of Starbucks coffee beans. If you look at the photo of the box of mango Corn Flakes, you’ll see a square with a green dot at the top of the box. That means it’s true vegetarian. Much of the population is vegetarian so this is important. The “Iron Shakti” is uniquely Indian. Shakti means "cosmic power" more or less.

Nitara makes a friend

The four year old child of one of the household servants spent the morning with us. Her name is Shree and she's adorable! In spite of the language barrier she and Nitara got on fabulously. I was not sure what Indian kids liked to play. It turns out they like to play the same kinds of things that other kids like to play at that age. I filled a bowl with water and they gave Nitara's pony toys a bath. I filled it four or five times with more water and had to move them outside to contain the mess. Shree was very shy at first but soon learned to ask for more water for the bath: "thani ma?" I sent her home with a handful of chocolates. I hope she comes back soon but she is due to start school in the next couple of days. Kids here start public school at age 4. I still can't get over how big my kids are compared to most of the local kids here. It seems that my husband's family is extrodinarly tall for south Indian people. Abi was the same size as a nine year old girl (she's 6.5) and Nitara (3.5) just towered over little Shree.

The second driving video has been uploaded here. Hold on tight! This is from an auto rickshaw.

Meet Buddy

June 8, 2007
This is Buddy the bear. He is a very special bear that belongs to a support group for kids with eosinophilic disorders. Buddy has been visiting different families and getting photos taken for his scrap book. Eventually Buddy will end up back at the support group where he belongs and help a lot of kids see that there are other kids with eos disorders and they are not alone. Buddy came with some hospital clothes, because these kids often face regular endoscopies and biopsies. He’s been having a good time in India. Here’s one of the photos I took of him. Hopefully I’ll have enough to make an interesting scrapbook of his travels. I also want to find some souvenirs for him to take back to the kids.

Beauty torture

June 8, 2007
We went to the shopping mall again today to look for more stuff for Anirudh’s party. Down one narrow corridor there were a lot of touristy type shops and I was practically attacked by the salesmen from all sides inviting me to see their shops. We had Bel Puri and brought home some Jelabis for Abi. After that we stopped by the beauty shop where Kamini wanted to get her eyebrows done. I decided to get mine done, too. This is the person who’s never had her eyebrows professionally done. The woman rolled a thin thread around and it pulled out the hairs and was like torture treatment. I must admit though, I like the results. I posted some new photos and a couple of video clips taken while driving in the rickshaw. Check the India 2 album for both in about 12 hours. Right now it’s not time to upload or they will get charged.

Culture clashes

June 8, 2007

We are having some culture clashes. My husband falls naturally back into the ways of his family, while I have a harder time adjusting. The current issue is that it seems everything is made much more complicated than it has to be. It is so frustrating. We can’t have a conversation about anything without the entire family getting consulted with. And everyone has their own opinion. The baby sling, which was found some days ago, is still sitting in a hotel in Malaysia. The longer it sits, the more chance there is of it getting tossed or taken. The hotel employee offered to FedEx it for $39. I think that’s very reasonable and I will gladly pay that. I was all ready to call them with our credit card number and was stopped by everyone. It seems that it would not be secure to give them our card number (even though our card has fraud protection and we used the card in Malaysia already). It was advised to get a pre paid debit card instead. The card has not been purchased yet. Then my in laws suggested that we contact some person they know who goes to Malaysia often on business, and wait for him to go again and collect the sling. That person has not been contacted yet to even see if he’s going anytime soon. Then when the man gets the sling and flies back to India he will put it in the local mail. I know how reliable the local mail is. There is a very good chance the sling will get stolen or lost in the mail. But my in laws think that $39 is too much to spend on FedEx. My husband is going along with them. When I spoke up to remind them that (a) it’s my sling and (b) I want it shipped ASAP, and (c) the sling is worth $39 to me, I was blown off. I had to speak up loudly and rather ungracefully to have my way. I was told they would get the debit card but it still has not been purchased or sent across. The powerlessness is so frustrating to me. Back home I would just do things my way. There is no need to involve the entire household in the recovery of my sling.

Second example: yesterday we were planning to go the tailor’s to get Abi measured for school uniforms, and both girls measured for fancy dresses for Nitara’s special homa (fire ceremony for health and long life). The tailor is about five minutes walk from the house. I suggested walking, and did not want to have Nitara riding in the car in this heat without good reason—she gets carsick. Besides it would take longer to get us all in the car and drive there and park than it would to just walk. The whole way there is completely shaded with trees. I stood my ground and said that Nitara could just be carried the short distance on V’s hip. I was told I was complicating things by mentioning her carsickness (not to mention that the carseat was left in the other car that was taken by my brother in law to the office). There was also the question of who was going to stay with the baby at home while he napped. They went back and forth with that issue until I said I would watch him—my presence was not needed at the tailor’s anyway. The final solution was that my husband and Nitara walked, everyone else drove in the car. At home I could have just taken Nitara and Abi out by myself. Here I have to depend on everyone else to take me places. I don’t even have spending money because my husband feels it’s okay to borrow money from his parents and pay them back at the end of the trip. I feel awkward borrowing money for every small thing I might want including a snack or drink.

At least the kids are having a really great time. I am sitting in the room trying to stay out of the way and knitting a lot. Thank goodness for knitting! His family is really nice, but I feel so much like I don’t belong sometimes. They speak mostly Tamil or a mix of English and Tamil, just enough that I can’t quite follow the conversations. I really miss my independence and my freedom. I can’t even go for a walk or run by myself. I am not familiar enough with the crazy traffic and systems of streets (as in, very few street names are displayed) and language to venture out alone.

Next week we are going to a hill station Kodai. We have to drive the airport, fly about an hour, and then drive 3 hours by car. Nitara is just getting her tummy settled again because I’m not letting her go out unless it’s absolutely necessary. Everyone thinks I’m being overly protective and they want to take her around and don’t have any regard for her need to sleep, eat her small meals, and stay healthy. I think these people must have endless energy to go all over the place with not much time in between to recover. It’s crazy. I’m thankful that we are seeing so much of India. At the same time I’m tired and cranky and the kids desperately want a routine.

The one bright spot is that yesterday we went to the mall. I had to get a Hawaiian style skirt for Anirudh’s big birthday party, which is going to be held at a hotel and is going to be totally Hawaiian. Everyone has to dress the part. Even my mother in law’s sari will be Hawaiian print. Of course I had to ask my sister in law to pay for the skirt. Then we went to the toy store to get a ball for the kids to kick around the courtyard outside. My brother in law went crazy spoiling Abi and bought her whatever she wanted and stuff for Nitara too, who stayed at home. In addition to the ball he bought them some Littlest Pet Shop figures (a bargain at $2 each), a ring toss, and a pile of wooden puzzles. I was going to “buy” the puzzles myself but he snatched them out of my arms and bought them instead, saying they were his gifts to the kids. I had to really put my foot down to prevent him from buying a cheap plastic toy guitar. He even had everything gift wrapped. Then we went to the snack shop and I got a Bel Puri (hold the chili) and Abi had three Jelabi’s, which totally ruined her appetite for dinner. But it was nice to see her enjoying herself so much.

June 9, 2007

No more Bel Puri. Bad stomach. Ugh.

The power goes off a few times a day but it usually comes back on within minutes. The internet is also painfully slow, but at least I can get on sometimes and stay in touch with my friends in the States.

Trek up to Tirumala temple

This is the third time I have made this trek but I never fail to be amazed both by what I see along the way, and what awaits at the temple itself. Chennai, the city where we are staying, has managed to maintain a village-like atmosphere through most of its sections. Perhaps it’s the various bicycle contraptions piled high with goods, the occasional bullock cart navigating through the traffic, the brick and thatch roofed houses that sit in the shade of high rises. When we travel to the city of Tirupati, which houses the Tirumala temple, we go through villages and suburbs. Unlike the US with vast expanses of wilderness or fields that show no sign of human habitation, the four hour road to Tirupati is lined with people the whole way. Sometimes store fronts give way to rice paddies, but along every stretch of the road people are walking, riding, herding goats, school kids in uniform rushing to school, or people selling things by the roadside. There are so many things I saw that are remarkable even after three trips, but it would fill a book. I have taken many photos catching what I could. One thing I failed to capture on film was a stretch of about 10 miles where three and four story buildings were sliced down the fronts as if with a knife, exposing the insides that used to be someone’s house or business. The cabinets still on the walls. It reminded me of photos of earthquakes or bombs where one half of a building had collapsed. It was explained to me that they were widening the road and rather than knock the buildings down they just cut away the part that was in the path of the road. The owners are compensated for the loss of square footage but many would choose to keep the money rather than repair and rebuild. And so, like many areas of Chennai and beyond, you will find half-finished buildings that are still inhabited in part. Anywhere there is a place to set up a sleeping mat and cooking fire, you will find people living there.

As we neared Tirumala, which is a holy town made mostly of hostels, hotels, and restaurants for pilgrims going to the temple at its center, it started to rain gently. This is out of season and was a special sign that things were going well. Rain is very auspicious and also brought a welcome change of temperature. At the bottom of the seven hills we went to the first temple in honor of the wife of Venkateshwara, who resides at the main temple. The kids were wonderful. We went in and got blessings to continue our journey. Another good sign that things were going well is the prasadam, or food offering that is given out to all after the puja, was pure sugar candy. This is one of the few foods Nitara can eat. The fact that she was able to receive the blessing of prasadam was very special. Shortly after going through a security checkpoint Vignesh and I set off up the foot path to the temple at the top. This is the third time we have made this special journey. The first was before we had Abi, to ask for the blessing of a baby after waiting a long time. That was in January and by the next December Abi was born. Then when Abi was a year old we (mostly I) carried her up the hill to the top to give thanks. We hoped to do the same for Nitara but she was too sick to travel when she was small. She’s too big to carry now, so we walked in her honor. She and Abi were driven up by car. The path is 10 kilometers long and is traditionally walked in bare feet. Most of the path is cement or stone steps. Some of it is straight and part of it comes out on the road before going back to the footpath. The first part is the hardest. After that it is a gentle climb, with one more brutal hill almost straight up at the end. In all it is exactly 3,750 steps. The steps are covered in sandalwood paste and kunkum powder as an act of devotion. The rain made the steps slick and soon our feet and pants were stained with red and yellow. Sometimes people light small bits of camphor on the steps on their way up. At regular intervals there are stalls selling food and drinks. We had fresh roasted peanuts mixed with unripe mango chunks, onions, and crunchy bits. Also got some candy bars and crackers to keep up our strength. We made the trek in just over 3.5 hours which is a clipping pace. It was special to make that journey just with my husband.

We arrived at the top at around 9:15 PM and were picked up and taken to the hostel. We had made arrangements for a nice hotel but they fell through, as often happens there. We stayed in busy hostel, all 7 of us sleeping in three twin beds pushed together. The bathrooms were primitive but at least we had hot water! We ate and went to sleep for a few hours. At 1:30 AM we awoke to get ready for the 2:30 darshan (viewing of the god). Along the way to the temple we passed rows and rows of people sleeping right there on the sidewalks and courtyards. People of all ages, who were not able to get shelter and were just happy to be there in such a sacred place for Hindus. The temple services between 10,000 and 30,000 visitors daily depending on the season. We had to pass through metal detectors and go along the maze of queues to the area just outside of the sanctum. As we waited in the last holding area (men on one side, women on the other), the gold plated doors swung open and a curtain was pulled across. This is the point where they were waking up the murthi, or image, inside. Some believe that the murthi is alive in a way. Others believe that the murthi holds the culmination of the spirit of devotees that have come to that sacred place for three thousand years, and the murthi represents the divine spirit of the universe, the Creator. Several years ago I was a very spiritual person but life events and perhaps just maturity has lessened my need to worship while still preserving my inner faith in the Divine. I was not sure if I would be moved to the same degree as past visits to the temple. As we waited devotional songs were sung and accented by loud cries of “Govinda!” Finally the curtain was swept to one side and people were ushered into the inner sanctum. We had to step over several brass-plated thresholds and it was very much like a cave inside with beautiful lifelike carvings jumping out of the carved granite. As I approached I felt that familiar surge of emotion—I cannot properly define it—it was just the magnitude of the experience and the sacredness of the place, the very energy that was I the air from continuous devotion, the inner sanctum being almost an unearthly place. And then I cast my eyes on the face of Venkateshwara and it was like I was encountering an old friend who knew me as I came back at three distinct phases of my life: young married woman, new mother, and full grown woman with two children. Abi also was moved by the experience and showed a degree of sincere devotion that I have not seen in her before. After a few seconds in front of the murthi we were ushered back out. At each threshold I turned and looked back and then, too quickly it was over. We entered the darkness of the early morning and I was able to gaze up at the gold plated gopuram above the temple. The moon was framed between that golden gopuram and the solid white granite gopuram at the entrance to the temple. It was quite a photo, but since cameras are strictly forbidden I can only preserve that image in my heart. We were ushered into a small side room and Vignesh was draped with a cloth that had been used to dress Venkateshwara on a previous day. It was silk and embroidered with gold. This was made possible by a donation from our brother in law. The children and I were sprinkled with yellow-stained rice to add blessings to us.

The rest of the trip was an anticlimax. We went back to the hostel and packed our things. On the drive home I captured more photos—not nearly a complete picture of all that I saw. At one point we stopped by the roadside and ate the jelly-like fruit of palm coconuts and drank the fresh juice from another kind of coconut with a straw. It was refreshing in the heat of south India. Now we are home and I’m sitting in the a/c room, my swollen, turmeric-stained (but strangely not sore) feet propped up as I type this all out. I know it will take days if not weeks to digest it all. I am just thankful than in my life time so far I have been blessed to visit such a holy place on this earth three times.

Photos: http://s199.photobucket.com/albums/aa115/abiramineha/Tirupati/

Subalbum: Tirupati
password: photos

More photos from the internet:

Overhead

At night

A short but sweet webpage about the temple

A virtual tour of the temple, stopping short of entering the inner sanctum

--------------------

As a side note-- did not want to take away from the main story, we are having some issues getting some of the relatives to fully understand and accept Nitara's health issues. Some are very accepting and accomadating. Others just keep telling me she will outgrow it and even give predictios of when this miraculous event will happen. The allerigies may get better in time but I doubt she will ever be fully cured or be able to ditch the feeding tube any time soon. The motility issues (GERD, constipation, etc) are probably neurological in nature and will be with her for life. I try not to discuss it anymore. The last time it happened I brought out her binder of medical records and invited them all to read it and then ask me questions if they had any. At the main temple a certain family member was upset when I did not allow Nitara to eat the prasadam (holy food) because it had a lot of unsafe foods for her. We finally got around that one by having V eat it on her behalf, but it greatly offended the family member at the time. Because pradadam should not cause harm, right? Even if it contains dairy and nuts and stuff.

Nitara's tummy has been "off" since we left. Nothing too serious, but she has been on mostly continuous feeds by pump or she feels nauseated. Feeling crummy is a part of her reality and she's never let it slow her down for long. In fact she loves four flights of stairs in the house we are staying at. Her only apprehension is that she went into the wrong room, thought it had turned into some other room myseriously, and now she won't go up and down unless someone is with her. That experience kinda freaked her out. That same day she locked herself in our room for a few minutes so now she won't be left alone in there.

Using Photobucket

Username: Abiramineha

Guest Password: photos

Link: http://s199.photobucket.com/albums/aa115/abiramineha/



I have posted all photos taken so far. I am limited to photo uploading only after 9PM because otherwise Kamini is charged extra. I hope this works! If so keep checking back for more photos and video clips. I will post to the blog when I upload new ones just to remind you.

Check back for small video clips, too. My camera takes 30 second clips. Not the best quality but hopefully they can provide an idea.

A good omen

June 3, 2007

This morning V and I went for a run. Yesterday I discovered that I only packed one running shoe (!) and I was due for a new pair anyway. I went to the local sports shoe store and got full service. The man measured my foot, put the shoes on for me, even tied them, and called me “ma’am” a lot. It made me feel a bit uncomfortable since I’m used to doing everything myself. I paid about as much as I would in the States. There are no real bargains on brand name stuff. It’s the locally produced goods that can be bought for much less.

After purchasing the shoes we went to a mall. It was so crowded. I cannot believe how many cars can be packed into that parking garage! It would be more than illegal parking in the US. As with everywhere else, there were plenty of employees in uniform ready to assist. Labor is easy to get in India so you get full service, even more than full service. Inside we went to a cookie counter and then to the bookstore. Inside the place was crawling with assistants practically following people around ready to help with anything one might ask for. I bought some books for the kids at a great price. Roughly $1-2 each including some Dr. Seuss paperbacks and some easy readers for Abi. What I did not find was Indian tales. I found some books for older kids about Indian tales and Hindu tales but did not feel they were what I was looking for. Back out again, we walked through the main mall. I was the only white person there and while most minded their own business, some started. One man gawked. He literally was stopped in his tracks, came over and stood smiling and looking me and the kids up and down. Kamini asked if he had a problem. He moved off and then stole another glance before Kamini waved him on. I am used to this kind of thing now after being here three times before, but one can never fully get used to it. It's interesting to be in the minority for once.

So this morning at 7:30, the sun already up and very hot, we went for a run. Leaving the wealthy neighborhood where Kamini’s house is, we went down a side street and found ourselves in a different world. It is so hard to begin to describe a scene that is so utterly different than anything I find in the states. The dirt road was narrow and shaded from above by lots of trees. There were carts of all kinds being pushed down the street selling thing. Mostly foods, but one man was pushing an old fashioned cast-iron sewing machine on a cart, presumably to sell his services mending clothes. We passed a water buffalo, several stray dogs. A child of Abi’s age watching two children including a 3 year old wearing nothing but a black thread around his waist. A chicken butcher with cages crammed full of ill-looking white chickens. A trash picker going through a heap of garbage, his collection bag full of strings, papers, and recyclable plastic. Young girls with water collection jars on their heads. There was a pungent odor of rot in the air down that whole street. But it was not as intolerable as it sounds. It was just part of that place. It belonged. Then back home to Kamini’s house, with the marble floors, running water, a/c in some of the rooms. It was such a different world. (Although even her house is not immune to the periodic power outages that strike a couple of times a day.) I may try to get some video clips of that street on my next run, but it will be a few days. Tomorrow we are leaving for Tirupati. I am going to attempt to hike the whole way again, about 3-4 hours steep climb. We are going to stay in a hotel and then wake up the next morning very early (around 2:30) for morning darshan. If we go for the later one we will be among about 3,000 people who are scheduled for that time slot. It runs similar to an amusement park in that regard-- you buy tickets for certain time slots and then you sit in holding cells until it's your turn to go.

Just about an hour ago we had a ring at the door. Two men dressed only in veshtis, looking travel-worn, explained that they were on a foot journey to Tirupati. This temple is one of the most pilgrimaged site in the world and many people endure self-imposed hardships in order to bring them closer to God. By removing everything else, they have only God. So these two men came and asked for some money for meals on the way. They had about 15 more days of walking to reach Tirupati. I had the girls give them the money and some water. How interesting that only tomorrow we are leaving for the same place. And more interesting that each of the girls was prayed for at that temple, for their conception. That temple is very special to me. I think of the visit of those two men as a good omen.

Happy day!

I just got this email forwarded to me!



Dear Mr Vignesh,Warm greetings from Concorde Inn KLIA

Kindly to informed you, we already found your baby sling.
Please advise your address.We will check the cost of delivery.

Please do contact us should you have any queries.

Have A Nice Day

Best regards,Haiza
Reservation Assistant
Concorde Inn KLIA

We made it!

Combining a couple of journal entries made while off-line . . .


Well here I am killing time somewhere between Taipei and Kuala Lampur (will post this later, of course). I have to say that I’m so glad we waited to travel until our kids were both potty trained and able to sit still for long periods of time. I still have memories of flying back alone with 15 month old Abi. Even so, this traveling has pushed us all to our limit. We drove to LA which wasn’t bad—but it was still work for V and I. Then we had to turn in our rental car and load all our massive amounts of luggage on the bus to the airport. Got there and loaded it onto to carts plus Abi pulling one. Stood in a long line at the ticket counter, got the bags weighed. Took bags to baggage security and waited in another long line. Waited until we saw our bags pass inspection. By then it was like 11 PM and Nitara had a tantrum in the middle of a busy thoroughfare because I would not let her sit down right there and open her backpack and get a toy out. I used my baby sling with her and it still works great. Then we had to go through airport security with our carry ons. Another long line, removing of shoes, explaining what the cans of formula were for. Then to the terminal where we camped out until our plane left. It was only about an hour of camping out but the terminal was crowded. Nitara was feeling out of sorts and vomited right in the middle of the crowd. It was then that I realized I had not packed her an extra set of clothes. At least she’s an expert at vomiting and knows how to aim for the floor between her feet and keep her clothes clean. When the gate opened we were led to a bus and had to be driven, standing room only and very cold, to the air terminal. Up a ramp that spiraled around about 3 times. Finally we got on the plane. Nitara vomited once more and after that we fed her by syringe 10 mL every 15 minutes. Her pump kept clogging because we didn’t have access to a blender to make it smooth enough for the finicky pump. We took shifts doing that for much of the 14 hour flight to Taipei. I also gave Nitara a Zofran and that helped her to sleep and get some relief. All of us were feeling out of sorts with weak stomachs but she felt it the worst.

Malaysia Airline is wonderful. Good food (we got Western Vegetarian), good service, lots of extra attention towards the kids to help us get through that long stretch as well as possible. They helped us install Nitara’s carseat and brought her an apple when I said she was limited with foods. One flight attendant, moved by Nitara’s tube and her discomfort, told me about her own daughter aged 2.5 who has reflux and gets aspiration pneumonia from it. I guess reflux touches people the world over. The funniest thing is that for the first leg of the trip, which was dark most of the way, Nitara didn’t believe we were really on the plane. I told her we were flying in the sky and she said no, you are just telling a story. It’s not real. Then kept asking to go home. On this leg it’s light out and I was able to take her to a window (we are sitting in the center) and show her the ocean and the clouds. The look on her face was priceless. Total wonder and awe. Not counting in-utero this is her first plane trip, and what a plane trip it is! We are looking forward to getting into Malaysia in about two hours and have a complimentary hotel room where we can take showers and get refreshed. I am going to probably buy Nitara a new set of clothes at the airport, at least a clean shirt. That’s one way to get a souvenir.

Abi has been absolutely the best kid ever. Very helpful, cooperative, and calm. She is enjoying the whole adventure of it and doesn’t mind watching the same movie 3 times over. I brought along my knitting. Thank goodness found out at the last minute that knitting needles are now permitted on board. It has calmed me to knit when I could be feeling afraid of flying. I guess the trip is going as good as it can be. But no joke about it, it’s grueling all the same. Especially with kids. I am not sure I am ready to do this again for at least a couple more years. Because as wonderful as Nitara is, she’s still three, and traveling with a three year old is draining. Unlike Abi who can be self-entertained, we have to entertain and supervise Nitara about 75% of the time. I’m ending this entry listening to a baby crying. He’s been unhappy most of the trip. He’s only 3 months old and his sister is 15 months old. I don’t envy the mom at all.

Updated from Chennai: We made it! The last leg was rough because we had to get back on that plane one more time. The plane was older, uncomfortable, and packed. The movies were broken, the bathrooms dirty and a long line. And the kids were just fed up with traveling. We got to Chennai, were driven to Kamini and Neville’s house, and now we are getting down to the task of recovering from jet lag. . My only sorrow is that we lost my precious Maya Wrap sling in one of the shuttles in Malaysia. Abi was supposed to be carrying it for me. She was so sad that it got lost that I told her the most important thing is we are here safe.

May 31, 2007

We woke up this morning to the sounds of the birds calling, so different from home. Amma (my MIL) says they are coo-coo birds. Am I spelling that right? Anyway . . .The weather is HOT but more than that, humid. I can deal with hot, being from Phoenix. The humidity is going to take some getting used to. I also found out that since it’s so hot there are not many mosquitoes around. I’m so glad! In January-March visits we were attacked all the time and it was horrible. The kids played nicely today together and love their new cousin Anirudh. Everyone loved the gifts we brought, too. I had a fresh mango off the family's tree and it was so, so good! I am not sure I will ever be able to enjoy mangoes in the states again. We were supposed to go to the beach today in the evening for a walk but we slept through it. Went to take a nap at 2PM with the girls, and I woke up at 8. They are still sleeping as I write this. The rest of the family is about ready for bed and here I am wide awake. We are going to Tirupati temple on Monday.

More Photos